Guest Post: Victoria's Birth

From Katie DiBeneddeto's Journal

Monday October 19th 2009

This morning I met Victoria & Tyner at Baptist for Victoria's induction. We got settled into a room and then a nurse came in to do her IV, which sucked because the nurse couldn't do it. Victoria said this always happens though and they always end up having to get the head nurse to come in. Victoria did appreciate though that the nurse quickly realized she couldn't do it and had no problem bringing in someone else. I felt bad for her though because her poor arm was bruised from the couple sticks that didn't work out. Poor thing! A super sweet older nurse was sent in, and Tiffany! I just love Tiffany. She just has such great energy. This was about noon and Tiffany had office hours from 1 to 5 so I guess she was just stopping by before she had to head over and see other moms. The nurse that was brought in was totally rockin and got the IV in on her first try. I told Victoria that next time she should just straight up say "Look honey, I'm sorry, but I know you're not going to be able to get this IV in. Please just skip even trying, get over yourself and bring in your star nurse ASAP". So anyway, once they got the IV in they started a bag of fluid. Pitocin was started a little after 1.

She managed to stay comfortable for the first few increases and then they just started getting stronger and more regular, but she never lost control. I really admired that about her the whole time. Around 2 o clock or so her in laws came for a visit. They were a super sweet couple - they're in from Corvallis, Oregon. They were very encouraging and didn't really intrude at all. Although they did start sort of obsession over the monitor. I know it's hard for people not to do that, but it's still one of my peeves. I always encourage people to look at the mom - that's your best indicator of what's going on. Plus it messes with your head - like a placebo pill or something - "Oh that was a big number (on the contraction monitor), that must have hurt!" and I'm like...."Well look at her face! She's doing just fine". I guess people just take the monitors so literally sometimes. I guess Tyner was motioning or making faces at Victoria or something to see if she wanted his parents to leave, but she wasn't getting it. But Tyner just said to his parents "So, thanks for visiting..." and then took the hint and left. How refreshing!

Then she wanted to eat lunch and of course at first the nurse said no, but then said she'd ask Tiffany and of course Tiffany said yes - it was so early and she could eat whatever she wanted. So she did. We ordered lunch and it was decent for hospital food. We asked a couple of different people for birth balls and Tyner said he never knew whether or not to keep asking. I said I usually just kept asking until I get it. You never know how many patients they have. Once we got it Victoria wanted to get on it just to practice and get the feel for it before things really got intense. She got on and really liked it. We took turns rubbing her back. It was a really nice time too - I got to hear all about how they met and how he proposed and everything. It was so cute to hear them share all of their stories and I'm sure it was a nice distraction for Victoria. They are a really sweet couple. And he was just the best husband (soon to be anyway...) that I had ever seen. So much non verbal communication. She had to use the bathroom a couple of times and one of the times she had a very intense contraction - being on the toilet was not comfortable at all for her.

Tiffany came back around 5:30 and checked her and she was still a 2. Not that that's bad, but I felt so bad for her. I know she was hoping to have been farther along and I knew she was running out of steam. I kept reminding her that her body was doing so much work that couldn't be measured just by checking her cervix. She was also incredibly congested. It took forever to get sudafed. Our nurse was totally out of it. Then Tiffany went to have dinner and said she'd be back later. Victoria ordered some dinner and Tyner went across the street to get some. I stayed with Victoria. She was back on the ball and I was behind her rubbing her lower back. Her dinner came and she sat up in bed and ate it and had a couple of hard contractions during. She is such a friggin trooper though. Then it was shift change and guess who came in? Rian!! I was psyched! And she remembered me too. She is so great. And she got us sudafed in like 15 minutes. She is so incredible awesome.

Soon after my rice sock became Victoria's best friend. I kept running out to heat it up and then Tyner and I took turns putting pressure on her hip while she was laying on her side. Tyner was so fantastic. I've never seen a sweeter partner. He was perfect. They are so good together. She decided to get some stadol because things were just getting to be too much. The nurse started her out real slow and said she'd give her another dose if she wanted it later. Victoria was hilarious after that. It was like she was drunk. Tyner and I were going to sort of nap, but Victoria was like "I'm being so funny right now and you guys are wasting it napping". She is hilarious. Then she said it didn't make the pain go away, it just made it seem farther away. She said it was like her pain was wrapped up like a present. It was in really pretty paper so that's what made her want to open it, but then she would open it and it would be painful and she would tell it to go away. But then the next one would come and it would be wrapped in pretty paper and the whole cycle started over again. It was hilarious, we were all dying with laughter. She told everyone who came in and I think Tyner even got it on video.

Then she got an epidural a bit later. She was in a lot of pain. It's always hard to watch when it gets to that point. But we talked about it a lot and it was what she really wanted, it wasn't like a spur of the moment for no good reason decision. And she had been at it for so long, she was just out of juice. Anybody would be. The anesthesiologist said I'd be trapped back there (in view of the epidural insertion) and Tiffany said it was ok, I was cool. She's so funny. And it was actually fun to watch from that angle. It's so scary though! I can't believe women so readily do it. After that it took a bit for it to kick in, but she was ok. Then Tyner and I napped on and off after she got comfortable.

We woke up a bit later and then all of the sudden there were a bunch of people in the room. That is never good. Apparently the heart rate was dipping and everyone was getting scared. Then Tiffany said they had to do a c section. Victoria was freaking out - I felt so bad for her. She had to sign all these consent forms really fast. It was a horrible situation. But I totally trust Tiffany so I wasn't questioning the c section - that's a really nice feeling. I know Victoria and Tyner did too. I helped Tyner get suited up and then I grabbed their cameras just in case. I asked Tiff, but she said I wouldn't be allowed in. I followed them anyway. As we were walking out I told Tyner I couldn't come in, but I'd be right outside if they needed anything. They wheeled her in and both Tyner and I had to wait outside for the first little bit. There was one chair and Tyner sat in it. I came and stood next to him and asked how he was doing. He just sort of reached out for me so I moved closer to him and held his head against my chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I was just overwhelmed. He was so scared and so vulnerable and it was so sweet the way he had just reached out. It took everything in me not to cry. I just held his head really tight and told him everything would be ok and that I knew that waiting was the hardest part. And I just stood there with him. And we waited. Then Tiffany came out and said the heart rate was steadying so they were just going to observe her for a minute. Then they brought her back into the room! I was soooooo relieved. Tyner went over and kissed her. She was shaking though. i can't imagine how scared she must've been. Tiffany siad it just sucks because in a home birth that would have just been no big deal and may have even gone undetected, which isn't a bad thing because variations in heartrate are normal - but in a hospital, where there's huge accountability you can't ignore a heart rate abnormality because of the off chance of something bad actually happening and then you've got record of a dip in the heart rate and no one did anything. It just sucks. After things calmed down we all dozed again.

Then we woke up and she was 10 and it was time to push. It was about 5'o clock in the morning at this point. They got the squat bar and she used that for a bit. Tiffany was at the edge of the bed and Rian and Tyner were helping her hold her legs. They had to give her oxygen at one point just because she had been pushing and was so out of breath. I was trying to stay coordinated with the camera and the video camera at the same time. She was a great pusher and he came out in no time though. It was amazing. I gave Tyner a big hug and put my hand on Victoria's forehead. He was born at 6:05am Tuesday, October 20th. It was amazing. This will never get old. He was such a sweetheart too. And they didn't go out and tell anyone for a while. It was just the three of them for the first hour and they never took Oliver away. It was fantastic.

After a little while they took him to the warmer to get him cleaned up a bit. Then Jesse came in - Victoria's 12 year old son. That was really sweet. Then they invited the grandparents in. I ordered them breakfast. The grandparents didn't stay for too long which was nice. A new nurse came in though and she was not as cool (but no one is as great as Rian). This nurse helped her breastfeed, which is always hard to watch. I wish people didn't make such a big deal out of it. Jesus, he's been out an hour. He's not going to starve himself. Once they were settled I said my goodbye's and headed home. I never even went to sleep. I was too psyched. What a great birth!